made in italy
by a midwest girl
and artisan made in
why poorgirl ?
December 9 1998, The youngest of my 3 children died in his sleep. At Owen's funeral I walked in a trance like state from room to room overhearing the whispers.
I do remember one phrase stood out from all the conversations that "poor girl."
After Owen's death I became unrecognizable. I was drowning in grief and depression. Every morning when I woke up the severe pain hit me in the gut leaving me once again paralyzed. I was stunted. I became a person that I no longer recognized and I became a person most misunderstood. Relationships unwound and my self-esteem plummeted. I developed an eating disorder and fought it for many years. Still struggling many years later while working on a shoe design being made in Italy. A designer friend and I were chatting about what I wanted my brand to convey? She asked, "What do you want your name to say about who you are? "
A month or so after that phone call I found myself crying on the kitchen floor. Rage was roaring through my veins and I was cursing into the air. I laid on the floor exhausted from sobbing and in the silence I could almost hear Owen saying, "Mom I'm not coming back.
I can't come back, but what are you going to do besides cry for me?
I had once read a quote that said,"...and then I heard a whisper , you are meant for more than this."
...That's what I needed to do.
I needed to do something with my grief.
I chose the name poorgirl because it represents each and every day I have worked hard to be brave with my life. Somedays that meant just getting out of bed, getting dressed and feeding my older children. I had to push myself to keep going even though inside I was completely shattered. I chose to survive.
It's a fighting spirit, it's gumption and it's having the guts to get up when life keeps kicking you down. It's being proud of who you are even when the world is doing its damndest to tell you otherwise.
It has been many years since I met that "poor girl". I still have my dark days where I fight off the feelings of being cheated. I know they will always be there. I can't help but feel angry Owen’s beautiful face isn't growing up along side his sister and brother. I will always want more time with him but for now I have made a promise to Lauder, Jack and Owen. As their mother and as a woman I will be brave and live my life with passion & gratitude. I will keep fighting and believing in myself. I will share our story hoping perhaps it might touch another heart that is suffering a similar journey.
Owen's life on this earth gave us all an irreplaceable gift of indescribable joy and I truly desire my life to reflect just that.
I love you Lauder, Jack, Owen xx
follow us on instagram and facebook
is 100% genuine made in Italy
beautifully stitched Italian fabric uppers,
while the solid wood wedge, made from Adler wood
is hand cut and worked.